Tuesday, September 29, 2009


So My bday just past this sunday and it was soo boring it left me thinking about everything in life. I have no complaints about my baby and baby daddy. Sometimes my family get on my bad side because they seem to not care about everything i do for them but egh, i get over it. The thing ive come to realize is that there is one thing that i cant really get over. Not to long ago i hung out with a friend of mine just me, him, and izarra for a couple of hours. IDK if its me who changed who i am or its them that grown up with out me and so thats why were different people now....like idk it was just weird. It wasnt like old times where we would talk forever when we'd go out and thered be no awkward silences... Recently ive been cleaning out my "closet" and found a lot of old pictures with old friends and found letters and drawings and just alotta things i use to do with my friends and i got sad. I came to realized that everyone i used to talk to dont talk to me for a reason, i dunno if its something i did or if its just cuz i have a baby and so out of nowhere no one can talk to me because im a mom. I only have like 3 or 4 real friends who talk to me some what on daily basis and do keep in touch and dont mind hanging out with me, my baby, and BD (baby daddy).......i should say, let alone me. So IDK ive just been quite depressed looking and finding old things. i guess i just miss going out and having fun. Im not saying that i dont like staying home with Izarra 24/7.  Its just itd be nice if i had someone to talk to about anything without being judged or without feeling like if i say something they'll tell someone and everything will still somehow get out.....IDK if you're reading this just ignore it...i just needa vent and ill feel better....i just miss a lot of my old friends....And i am now having that feeling where i feel that i grew up too fast cuz i had a baby. But I DO NOT regret anything ive done in my life. I DO NOT regret having my baby and staying with my fiance.  I LVOE THEM TO DEATH, they are my world...IDK im just sad this week and i hate it. =[

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